Mom, the travel agent.

Admin
Aug 18, 2017
7 min read

Wow. The summer has passed us by quite quickly. From the children’s excitement in May, counting down the days until school lets out, to the swim dates, and now here we are, first week of school already gone. It seems as if time continues to pass faster with every year. And now, being a mother, blinking is quite dangerous. With every bat of an eyelid, my son is five steps closer to the next season of his life. Then I watch my dearest friend’s curly headed, blue-eyed doll face go off to kindergarten, a baby I once held in my own arms just yesterday it seems. Across the street I see my neighbor kids, no longer in need of hand-holding and back-patting to get onto the yellow bus. Then I turn around and see the freckled faced, Barbie playing Sally start her senior year. As these milestones continue, I feel this ever-increasing need to find the clock which controls the speed of our days and shove a wrench into deep into the gears! Take that Father Time.

One morning as I sank deep into my couch while my home was still, I started to reflect on all roles we play in being a mother. What a long list… snack-packer, snot-cleaner, family-organizer, cheerleader, and tear-wiper. I finally landed on one which I felt every momma around me needed to hear, while all the first day of school pictures are still floating across our social media and we are fighting off tears.

This is to you mom, the travel agent.

Yes, it is true. Have you ever thought about your role as a travel agent? What does a travel agent do exactly? Upon the most reliable source of information, aka Google, a travel agent not only makes sales for transportation and lodging, but they also offer advice on destinations, plan itineraries, and decide arrangements for their clients. They work on behalf of their client, with the client interest in mind. They provide quotes, descriptions, customized suggestions, warnings and information regarding cultural practices based on the destination. So how are you a travel agent? Do you not navigate each season of the lives of your child? Do you not spend a great deal of time preparing, researching, and assisting your child in making the best decision or plan? Do you not provide information to your child to help them with the decisions? Do you not warn your child of potential problems and hurdles they will face, to prevent unnecessary harm? Do you not train your miniatures to be polite, mind their manners, how to make the world a better place, and of course basic social skills? And finally, quite like a travel agent waves goodbye once the job is finished, a mother must walk away and trust what they have taught their tiny army will stay with them. And like the seasoned traveler, who no longer needs the assistance of an agent to plan their trip, a mother must be prepared to let her not-so-tiny child make their own plans, find their own destinations, as they fly away to college, marriage, or other faraway places. Insert cry face emoticon here....

Yes momma, this whole time you have spent a great deal of your life preparing your children for the journey into adulthood. Not only to survive, but to succeed. You have trained or are in the middle of training your small voyagers basic life skills. From brush your teeth, look both ways when crossing the street, set your alarm, ten and two, balancing a check book, to quite possibly, having already said bon voyage. Wherever you are in the seasons, remember, you are the travel agent, what you teach them in every stage will go with them, wherever they land.

Since I am quite early in the journey of motherhood, currently working on “do you have to potty?”, I decided to gather advice from mothers in various stages of school aged years. I believe as mothers, we are strong, smart, and amazing, but we can always use some wise words of wisdom from those who have walked just ahead of us. From kindergarten to college, each mother was asked two questions.

Q1: What was the hardest part about sending your child to ______ ? (insert grade/season).

Q2: What would you say to the mother with a child a year younger?

The answers I received were just what I thought, wise and beautiful. I hope you can glean some advice from the mommas one step ahead of you and know you are not alone in some of the feelings which arise with each step of this motherhood adventure.

My child started kindergarten

The hardest part would be….

Knowing I am not there. All the what if possibilities. For example, what if they do not understand something, what if bullying, what if lockdown. The what if list for all momma varies, but overall, they share the same type of concern. What if something happens and I cannot be there to help guide them.

Also, knowing after the first year in school, they will be completely different. Their little world will be so much bigger.

To the mother behind me….

If you have taught them right from wrong, trust they will be able to stand by themselves. Make sure to establish friend connections, and a whole lot of trust in Jesus. All the texts and calls from friends helped me with the emotion of sending my child to school for the first time, and being close to Jesus helps me to trust my child will be cared for away from me. For this step was huge, being a stay-at-home momma, kindergarten is a big step.

Let them be little. Take afternoons off, stay up late having new adventures, show them the good in the world. Show them how to be kind, considerate, and brave. Love them, hug them, let them need you.

My child started third grade/elementary school

The hardest part would be….

Knowing they are in for a BIG transition! This is the year students start noticing differences and comparing. They will grow quite a bit, I just hope they stay carefree and do not allow others to change who they are.

To the mother behind me….

Build your child up as much as you can so they believe every word you say about them. The way you speak to/treat them is the way they will speak to/treat others. Be present and available to answer questions and help your child learn to be self-sufficient in as many areas as you can influence.

My child started middle school

The hardest part would be….

Allowing them to be responsible for their own schedule, along with letting them fail so they can learn. For example, missed deadlines and homework.

Giving them room to grow and start finding their OWN identity.

Remembering how awkward and weird those years were, and knowing you cannot be there to guide and protect them during school.

To the mother behind me….

Prepare yourself for them to grow up quickly right before middle school or during the first year, mine most certainly did. Try to get as much God foundation in them you can, then learn to trust. Even if they waiver in the storms; the anchor will hold.

Do not forget you managed to make your way through those weird years, your sweet one will do the same.

My child started junior high

The hardest part would be….

Letting go to let them face their fears; fears of rejection by peers, fears of not being the perfect shape, size, fears of getting hurt emotionally. It is very hard for adults to rest in Christ’s arms regarding their fears, let alone a preteen child.

To the mother behind me….

Encourage kindness in your child. Be sure to listen to their thoughts, feelings, and fears. When they speak, listen. No matter the time of day, OR night. You may only get one chance to listen, even if you are beyond tired, if they want to talk and you do not listen in the moment, you may not get the opportunity again. Build their faith in God’s grace and security.

My child started high school

The hardest part would be….

Watching them struggle with their anxiety of starting high school, feeling helpless, as I was unable to reassure them it will be awesome.

To the mother behind me….

Pray. Pray. Pray. Reassure. Reassure. Reassure. Be available.

Provide practical information to help with the transition.

My child started their senior year

The hardest part would be….

Realizing how time has passed by so quickly, and this year will be gone way too fast. It seems as if they were two years old just yesterday.

To the mother behind me….

Give them room. Room to grow and find their own way, their own success. Allow them to make mistakes.

Trust the parenting you have already done with them. You must have faith in what you have already poured into your child throughout the years; ultimately, knowing they belong to God. You were just given the blessing of raising His child. It is a very exciting thing to see your child grow into the adult God has called them to be. As parents we have been raising them all these years to be strong, independent, productive adults. Be happy for them!

My child started their first year in college

The hardest part would be….

We have shared so much time together and enjoy each other. I will miss them so much. I know I will worry. I will not know the details of their day; when, where, what time, what’s going on, and their safety always. I know they have been raised well, but the world can be very mean, as a parent your child’s safety always comes to mind.

To the mother behind me….

Begin changing your habits. High school senior year, begin going your separate ways. They already have so many activities, so be sure to invest your time in your own interests as well. You will still have plenty of time at the end of the week to catch up and enjoy time together. It is still going to be difficult, but it is time to prepare for the next chapter for both the child and parents.